


It's A Trap!

by CrimesOfADeadpool



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Cute, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fourth Wall, Humor, M/M, Politics, Randomness, Running Away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 00:32:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8555656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimesOfADeadpool/pseuds/CrimesOfADeadpool
Summary: Wade and Peter on the couch. Wade wonders if he can convince Peter to run away to Canada with him.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Boston](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boston/gifts).



> Soooo... like this year has sucked. Like from Brexit to the elections (Australian and US) and to the celebrity deaths to my own little brother dying.... it has not been good. I have pretty much given up on writing. 
> 
> But I've sort of been ignoring Boston recently (for lack of better wording; I'm in Australia, she's in America (obviously) and the only times I have to text her back is when it's like between 2-7am, and honestly she needs all the sleep she can get) and since she's a lovely wonderful Hispanic (incredibly horny, someone needs to help her honestly) pansexual in a place where Donald Trump just won the presidency... I figured a fic might be the best way to say "I'm sorry for ignoring you and also please think about cute spideypool instead of looming disaster."
> 
> And anyway, I've been sorting out my life, got myself on 'mental disability pay', and you know, my sister's new little baby Freya is a much needed light (my niece is so cute guys! Although I do often have to secretly whisper to her that I'm her uncle, after grandma comes in boasting about me being 'Aunty Kayla' (ughh I hate my birthname; Avery is so much cooler). But yes, I'm finally taking time off university, I'm living in a house with my three month old, red headed, adorable little niece (you know, and my two sisters and brother and mother and grandfather and a cat and a dog), I'm actually getting back into reading (books and comics) and I'm y'know, surviving. 
> 
> ... And somehow this turned into a paragraph about me. I blame the fact that I started rereading Picture of Dorian Gray (dammit Oscar Wilde). (And also partly because I haven't mentioned my brother's death on AO3 yet and I thought this cute fluffy piece would be the best place to mention it, rather than at the start of a smut fic because not the best place to put that and now I'm rambling to make sure you're not worrying about me or anything, shh it's 3am here)

Wade ran a hand through Peter's hair. "We could always-"   
"We're not running away to Canada, Wade." Peter said flatly, staring at a blank tv screen.   
"But Justin Tru-"   
"No Wade." Peter sighed and leant backwards, resting his head on Wade's chest. "Grin and bear it."   
Wade looked down at him skeptically. "You're just worried I'll leave you for that hottie of a Canadian prime minister. I wouldn't mind him keeping me warm through those _long_ winters..."   
Peter closed his eyes and folded his arms. "Winters are the same length in the eyes of the law, and global warming will put a stop to those long winters soon enough anyway."   
Wade dropped a kiss on Peter's forehead. "It'll be okay baby. Plus I _do_ still have my Canadian citizenship. Unless you can legally bet those in poker games, in which case the Black Widow is one smoking hot-   
Peter opened his eyes again and gave Wade a reluctant half smile. "Sorry."   
Wade waved the apology away. "Have I told you how incredibly attractive I find Black Bolt?" he asked.   
Peter rolled his eyes. "Are you trying to get me riled up into a jealous sex mood?"   
"That depends. Is it working?"   
Peter groaned and sat up again.   
"Well at least we got married before the real craziness began," Wade said, admiring his ring.   
Peter couldn't help a genuine smile peek through as he watched Wade grin at the ring Peter had picked out for him. "Every day with you is an exercise in crazy," Peter retorted.   
Wade gave him a shocked look and fluttered his hand around his face dramatically. "My stars," he twanged out in a southern lady imitation. "How _dare_ you speak to someone of my standing like that."   
"Your standing," Peter repeated dubiously.   
Wade made a hmmphing noise. "I'll have you know I'm a well respected-"  
"Lies."   
"Member of the community," Wade continued as if uninterrupted. "The  _leader_ of the Avengers-"  
"Poster boy at best."   
"And a beloved superhero."  
"Beloved is _wayyy_ too strong a word," Peter chimed.  
"And," Wade leant over to press a kiss against Peter's neck before whispering conspiratorially in his ear, "I'll have you know I am married to one  _very_ sexy superhero scientist."  
Peter grinned at him against his own will. "But not as sexy as the prime minister of Canada."   
Wade waved his hand dismissively. "They don't compare."  
Peter gave him a half-hearted look of disapproval.   
"And Medusa," Wade continued, from a conversation they weren't even having. "Did you see her in Attilan Rising? The author was way more in love with Blackagar up until that final panel in Issue #5, you know, rebel-Medusa, oh whoops spoilers!"   
[Wow breaking the fourth wall, haven't done that in a while.]  
 _This is the author's first time writing a proper fic in ages, I say we give him a break, did you read the author's note, he can barely even ramble any good right now, you expect him to write something decent? He doesn't even like spideypool anymore. Wayyy too in love with Cablepool, if he even bothers to think of us at all. He's too torn about Blackagar Boltagon at the moment to spare us a decent thought.  
_ [Yeah wow this story is falling apart. is 'ramble any good' even aesthetically pleasing?]  
 _Is that what we're basing the success of our fics on now? How well they're worded?  
[_What would _you_ base it on?]  
 _I don't know, if people like them?_  
[This fic seems a little bit too personal and disjointed to really work on that level, it's more of a draft work really. Pushing the author back into style. Like am I the author himself or the yellow box? Who knows??]  
Peter blinked at his husband arguing with himself over something and stood up, stretching. "Want dinner?"   
"Is it plot worthy? We're beginning to think we don't have a plot - as per usual - but normally something's jumped out at us by now as a point. The author is beginning to worry that this is pointless and will end up like that one fic he did for that spideypool thing last year, that one he almost missed completely, just before he missed the SpideyTorch and MarvelRedTeam weeks completely? It was a shame too, he was looking forward to both of them and wow yeah there is no plot to this, I'm sure most people have left the page."  
Peter gave him a tried and true Parker(TM) look of dry suffering. He stepped closer to Wade and placed a hand on each of his cheeks. "Wade." He said firmly. "I have a plot idea."   
Wade perked up. "That's great Peter! Finally pulling your weight around here!"   
Peter ignored the jab. "How about you and I have a very nice dinner of leftovers and then we sit down and watch some gay romantic comedies?"   
"But I'm a Cheerleader?" Wade asked hopefully.   
"First on the list," Peter agreed.   
Wade's hands fell to Peter's waist and he pressed his forehead to Peter's. "Have I mentioned I'm absolutely, completely, in love with you?"   
Peter smiled up at him. "You could stand to mention it more."   
Wade pulled Peter closed and kissed him passionately. "I really truly love you." 

**Author's Note:**

> At first I was like "Wow yeah this was bad, this is like the worst fic I've ever written... at least on this account. But it's like when you start riding a bike again and need a bit of practise to get yourself started again right? Right??" but then Peter came along with his whole "Hey I have a plot idea" and guess what it was an actual plot idea!! And it made the whole thing cute and adorable. 
> 
> I /was/ going to make them watch RH Plus, a japanese live action gay vampire romance series about four vampires who live together, like it's based off a shounen ai manga series and it's sooo gay, like every male character has a boyfriend (but they don't make it obvious you know, like they're like 'oh this is Kiyoi, and his 'special most important person' is such and such' and you're like omg just say they dated please' like it's super obvious and I really need to read the manga but there's no scans of it in English and idk how much postage on Amazon.jp costs so I'm reluctant to buy it in Japanese right now, plus I only know like 300 odd kanji and that's not enough to read a manga. So yeah, I turned to 'But I'm a Cheerleader' instead. 
> 
> Also I swear I've had enough of my mum/sister/grandmother ect talking about how nice and wonderful and attractive the Canadian Prime Minister is. Why?? Why do they have to keep telling me???? I don't even know anything about him, really, I just know that if I'm bringing up Canada I have to bring him up it's like some sort of unwritten law. 
> 
> And if any of you other wonderful readers need a fic/ficlet to help you get over the US/Australian elections, or Brexit or some other horror that's probably going on because 2016 has been very unfriendly to us, let me know. I need to get back into writing proper fics.


End file.
